Everything I Want to Become, I Already Am
Marsha Badger, award-winning journalist and creator of the Mindful Moon Deck and Moon Child Deck, knows that growth isn’t always comfortable. In this post, she shares how trusting her intuition helped her navigate career shifts, setbacks, and new opportunities, proving that the guidance you seek has always been within you.
It felt like the first day of school when I started my job as a fashion and beauty editor. I'd been writing for most of my life, but this was the first time I felt at home in my career. I was finally doing something I loved.
My imposter syndrome told me I had no idea what I was doing. And while I had huge shoes to fill, I was ready for the challenge. I slipped my size 8 feet into a pair of Shaquille O'Neal-sized sneakers and got to work. I flopped around in those kicks for a couple of months until I found my footing. Ambition had me asking for a promotion just one year in, and because the publication recognized my value, they offered me the Senior Editor position.
Over the years, my feet grew larger, and I was a bunion away from outgrowing these shoes. It was time for a change. I advocated for another promotion but faced opposition. Job applications stalled at the second or third interview, prompting me to focus my energy on my affirmation decks: creating a business plan, forming an LLC, obtaining a Department of Labor vendor license, and developing a social-emotional learning curriculum for students. I did all this while working full-time, including over 20 hours of overtime. Exhausted, I still staggered along in shoes that were barely holding together.
I wanted to quit, but I believed in having a life vest before diving headfirst into our volatile economy. With no job prospects, I stayed in a place that hindered my personal and professional growth.
Then one Friday, a meeting appeared on my calendar for Monday. I asked what it was about, but I was told to wait. That morning, my intuition whispered, "You're about to get laid off." Thirty minutes later, I was reviewing my severance package.
And just like that, my old shoes were gone. The Universe gave me a new pair that felt wildly uncomfortable. They were different. Some paths I walked with ease, then BAM! A brick wall. Disorienting, yes, but my intuition helped me recalibrate. I'd adjust, find my footing, and then hit another wall.
Unbeknownst to me, these new shoes were paving my own lane. Each wall forced me to rely on my intuition to forge a way forward. I hit more brick walls than I could imagine, but no matter how lost or discouraged I felt, my inner knowing would reroute me. Every action laid a brick, and each detour taught me something essential about myself. I had to unlearn the survival instincts that knocked me off track; the mindset I once relied on was ill-equipped for this road. Outgrowing the shoes that guided me through that season meant shedding behaviors that kept me looping in old patterns. The Universe—or your higher power—equips us with the perfect shoes for each season. When it's time to leave one road, we step into a new pair. All we have to do is trust that the new pair already knows the way—they even know what baggage we need to leave behind to make the journey seamless.
Shoes protect our feet and guide us through the world. Think of them as your intuition: helping you evolve, keeping you safe, and maintaining alignment. Each roadblock gently redirects you to listen to your inner voice.
I've settled into my shoes for this season, and while the discomfort remains, they've helped me realize that everything I want to become already exists inside me. All I have to do is trust myself. I don't always know the destination, but as long as I follow my inner compass, I have everything I need to get there.
This holiday season, Black Women For Self subscribers can enjoy a special discount on the Mindful Moon Deck, Moon Child Deck, and Love Notes Deck with the code BlackWomen4Self—valid through the remainder of November and all of December. These affirmation decks are powerful self-development tools for kids and adults, perfect for building confidence, reflecting inward, and fostering emotional growth. Plus, a portion of proceeds supports the Black Women For Self organization, making it a gift that truly gives back. Just in time for the holidays, these decks are a meaningful way to nurture yourself or someone you love.
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- Marsha B