You Are Not a Machine: Notes from a Reformed Overworker
I left Sam an audio message recently—the kind of message that only comes after you’ve finally come up for air. Life has been moving fast for both of us, and while we hadn’t spoken in a minute, I felt something bubbling up that I needed to share.
What I told her was this: I realized I’ve been using my laptop as an illusion of control.
For a long time, I believed that as long as I had a laptop and a brain, I could get wherever I wanted in life. That belief served me once. It got me through jobs, degrees, deadlines, contracts, and crises. But what used to be a tool became a crutch. I was spending 24 hours a day on that laptop—working, scrolling, “planning,” and trying to muscle my way into progress.
But here’s the kicker: I wasn’t being productive. I was being busy. And there’s a difference.
It hit me when I started sharing my laptop with my son for his summer learning curriculum. Giving it up for a couple of hours a day gave me the very thing I didn’t know I needed: room to breathe. Room to move. Room to do. I started sorting through my closet for my next Poshmark drop. I started actually living the steps that move my business forward, not just thinking about them.
That’s when I realized: not all the work is behind a screen.
Some of the most powerful shifts happen when we stop staring at the glowing box and start touching the world again—physically, energetically, spiritually. I had to surrender that illusion of control. And in doing so, I made room for structure. Space. Joy. Actual forward movement.
This new chapter of my life isn’t just about reselling clothing. It’s about telling stories with my hands. About marketing and pricing and curating not just a brand, but a frequency. I’m not just behind a laptop anymore—I’m sourcing. I’m touching fabric. I’m listening to what my body and spirit are trying to tell me. I’m becoming a more grounded version of myself, and it feels so damn good.
If you’re in a similar place, here are three liberating reminders I want to pass on:
1. Prioritize You Before the World Gets a Piece Start your day with yourself.
Before the coffee, before the texts, before the noise—fill your cup. Center your body. Breathe into your own worthiness. You are too valuable to show up for the world without showing up for yourself first.
2. Beware the Mental Prisons We Call Productivity
Grinding through exhaustion is not noble—it’s avoidance in disguise. Real progress isn’t always found in the hustle. Sometimes it’s in the quiet moment when you let go of a false sense of control and take a bold step into a new way of doing.
3. Find Joy in Micro Moments of Liberation
Your freedom doesn’t always look like a big launch or a major announcement. Sometimes it looks like cleaning your closet, saying no to another Zoom call, or letting your body move without a task to complete. Celebrate those micro-wins. They’re the ones that stretch your life and anchor your peace.
This season is different. I’m different. And I’m learning to make peace with the shift. Because what’s coming next won’t be born from burnout. It’ll be birthed from intentional rest, self-trust, and a devotion to living—not just performing—my purpose.
To every Black woman reading this: You do not have to earn your rest. You do not have to justify your joy. You are allowed to close the laptop, step outside, and remember that you are the portal—not the project.
Let’s stay free.
Chaila.